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Home My WebLink About120723 ICYMI_ TRIBAL RELATIONS DOS & DONT'S (PART 1) + 2024 WORKSHOP SCHEDULEALERT: BE CAUTIOUS This email originated outside the organization. Do not open attachments or click on links if you are not expecting them. Tribal Relations Practitioners T.I.P.S. Brief #07 <https://r20.rs6.net/on.jsp?ca=7b31cf9a-10e1-423c-9fb8-dbe2ad519b48&a=1132914421113&c=9b036ee2-aa61-11e9-8fec-d4ae52a45a09&ch=9ba0f888-aa61-11e9-8fec-d4ae52a45a09> TRIBAL RELATIONS DOS & DON'TS (PT. 1): INTERPERSONAL INTERACTIONS <https://imgssl.constantcontact.com/letters/images/1101116784221/S.gif> <https://files.constantcontact.com/97d26f6c701/08ebb14c-b615-457d-b51b-14dcc8ac9056.jpg?rdr=true> BIG QUESTION: What are your 1-on-1 interactions with Tribal counterparts like? Do they cause uncertainty, worry, or anxiety? Do they feel confusing, awkward, or even hostile? Well, you’re not alone! These are common feelings. The Great News: Each of us can make easy, transformative adjustments in our approach. Like many things in Tribal Relations, we find powerful tools in our communication choices. This is why Tribal Relations Practitioners are intensely focused on interpersonal relationships. In this special work, without a solid foundation of interpersonal rapport and respect, we can do little more than cause big problems. THE INDIVDIDUAL NEXUS: ADJUSTING OUR APPROACH Sadly, folks often behave badly because of uncomfortable feelings arising in their interpersonal interactions. Typically, there’s a common problem… Interactions with Tribal counterparts—whether intentionally or not—often center our perspective and not theirs. Conversations become driven by our needs, our pace, our priorities, and even our discomforts. To do better, we must center theirs instead. The good news: Small adjustments—some easy dos and don’ts, can transform the process. EASY DOS AND DON’TS This isn’t about doing things perfect: There’s no cookie-cutter approach. Instead, our goal in 1-on-1 interactions is simple: Put people at ease. We need folks to feel relaxed and respected enough to share important things—their time, their priorities, their perspective, and at their pace. Where do we start? Consider some encouraging advice: “I would say to non-Native people, spend more time asking questions and listening,” Brandy Lewis (Choctaw) told Buzzfeed News. “I welcome each and every opportunity that comes along to speak about my people because I’m very proud of who I am and what my people represent,” added Mary Ann Buggs (Cahto, Cheyenne & Arapaho). There’s ample feedback among Tribal relations professionals guiding us further. They tell us ... DON’T ... * Rush conversations, or engage in point-counterpoint talking style; * Ask lots of pointed, fixed-ended questions; * Interrupt or talk over people; * Over-project direct eye contact (or be offended by eye-contact avoidance); * Be physically imposing, too close, or in-the-way; * Name-drop other Tribes or Tribal counterparts; * Ask about someone’s Tribal membership, enrollment, or status; * Try to ‘Indigenize’ how you dress, talk, or behave; * Promote or condone offensive mascots, frontier themes, or colloquialisms; * Tout your family’s multi-generational homestead- or state-heritage; * Make vague, unverified allusions to Native ancestry; * Joke about being on “Indian Time;” * Cuss or use a lot of salty, off-color humor to ‘break-the-ice,’ or * Get defensive when being teased (it’s likely just endearment). DO ... * Be quiet, ask questions, and listen… alot. * Ask respectful questions about people, places, or practices they discuss; * Pay very special attention to how they introduce themselves; * Slow down the conversation—let people talk, pause, and continue; * Give people space and distance, and become physically deferential; * Give people time—to think, speak, listen, and absorb; * Reciprocate people’s time, input, expertise, and energy; * Assume every person is important and has special status (they do); * Loosen-up and let yourself be teased-on; * Give thoughtful (and legal) gifts, or at least thank people for their time; * Be a regular person—not just ‘at work;’ share about yourself, and * Breathe through your nose instead of your mouth. More importantly, do use interactions to better understand their story. This understanding comes when we listen in hopes of answering three big questions: (1) What is important to this person? (2) Why? (3) What’s the story that brings us together around this special subject? Hopefully, this will involve many, many interactions. TRANSFORMATION: RELAXATION & RESPECT Hopefully, our new approach helps counterparts feel more relaxed and respected. It should make things feel more comfortable—for talking openly, at length, in their own way, about subjects that are important to them. This new dynamic should open valuable windows of insight to better understand one another. At the very least, it should reduce tensions, misunderstanding, and discomfort. It should reduce the risk of offending people or causing disrespect. But we also do something bigger. BIGGER POSSIBILITIES Better 1-on-1 interactions take us far beyond more comfortable conversations. Big possibilities—for shared understanding, rapport, and respect—arise when we center Tribal perspectives in our conversations. But conversations also often lead to negotiations. And negotiations—on subjects big and small, succeed or fail because of relationships. And this begins with you! NEXT: THE SCREENWRITER’S SCENARIO What’s next? Let me share a tool with you. It’s one I use often: The Screenwriter’s Perspective Shift… First, sit down with a cup of coffee, a pen, and paper… Second, think of your last interaction with a Tribal counterpart. Third, pretend you’re a screenwriter describing that interaction from a first-person point-of-view. The Twist: Describe it from your Tribal counterpart’s perspective! Script the whole scene—the before, during, and after. Every detail you can think of. Focus especially on your own communication. Who did most of the talking? Whose priorities seemed to be driving the conversation? What was the tone like? What was the pace like? If it was a really busy day, was it worth the time? What themes arose? Any details that arise in your memory are worth writing down! I promise: With practice, this tool will enlighten your interactions. This creative projection draws upon subtle, but powerful insights only you have. I promise: It will sharpen your instincts. It will suggest changes in your approach. It will also enhance your situational sensitivity in the future. These are powerful tools I assure you! <https://imgssl.constantcontact.com/letters/images/1101116784221/S.gif> <https://r20.rs6.net/tn.jsp?f=00101Vll4U-S887sTYZCqNuK1OMALBMJFsTLWJQJ__y5I2E-otATPWqouJo3j35V316QoixAhU0IeOyI-9HYf-H_BGW2W_1CvxVcEGQz7sZNAOwdRZ-6kibPiVcuQX6oLR-zZszP8lkp3iCctvjk6ZGoDuGdhor7YEn&c=fI 757JjW7ISoFDFg4OT-_KdWhwXa4oBFNx0kteKvRiQY4KZpOyYBMw==&ch=pje-sJZuTEESqvXf2HVvDjhHoENoCx58ioDY3RiXDcmt6PfpBxXA8A==> Robert Harper, Executive Director (BIO <https://r20.rs6.net/tn.jsp?f=00101Vll4U-S887sTYZCqNuK1OMALBMJFsTLWJQJ__y5I2E-otATPWqouJo3j35V316QoixAhU0IeOyI-9HYf-H_BGW2W_1CvxVcEGQz7sZNAOwdRZ-6kibPiVcuQX6oLR -zZszP8lkp3iCctvjk6ZGoDuGdhor7YEn&c=fI757JjW7ISoFDFg4OT-_KdWhwXa4oBFNx0kteKvRiQY4KZpOyYBMw==&ch=pje-sJZuTEESqvXf2HVvDjhHoENoCx58ioDY3RiXDcmt6PfpBxXA8A==> ) America's foremost expert practitioner in conflict resolution with Tribes. Seventh Sovereign <https://r20.rs6.net/tn.jsp?f=00101Vll4U-S887sTYZCqNuK1OMALBMJFsTLWJQJ__y5I2E-otATPWqorPNqEr1DjOn-7fx8ILah INm9Fso0rWemEsduNegJQdKW9Jw_Ezke7uGfl_Cfy1UrePfth1Ukp0_lDjFcQ_xKFAb3BHR5ggQuzoXtjNz-utI&c=fI757JjW7ISoFDFg4OT-_KdWhwXa4oBFNx0kteKvRiQY4KZpOyYBMw==&ch=pje-sJZuTEESqvXf2HVvDjhHoENoCx58ioDY3RiXDcmt6PfpB xXA8A==> is a leading provider of professional Tribal Relations training. More than 650 professionals from 440+ organizations have transformed their work with Tribes through these trainings <https://r20.rs6.net/tn.jsp?f=00101Vll4U-S887sTYZCqNuK1OMALBMJFsTLWJQJ__y5I2E-otATPWqorPNqEr1DjOnygJaAdk36bmM30uXcl0lvD9_rBQUaXpQk3-Ucs5QHrE1EL9oVE98KQCk80vxsIpvja3O5aASl_rFVhTlKe_N4AJirByw1LsqgAMpg VSqxEY=&c=fI757JjW7ISoFDFg4OT-_KdWhwXa4oBFNx0kteKvRiQY4KZpOyYBMw==&ch=pje-sJZuTEESqvXf2HVvDjhHoENoCx58ioDY3RiXDcmt6PfpBxXA8A==> . <https://imgssl.constantcontact.com/letters/images/1101116784221/S.gif> 2024 WORKSHOP SCHEDULE Our 2024 courses cover the five hi-demand topics for Tribal Relations Practitioners: * LAND ACKNOWLEDGEMENT <https://r20.rs6.net/tn.jsp?f=00101Vll4U-S887sTYZCqNuK1OMALBMJFsTLWJQJ__y5I2E-otATPWqouJo3j35V316ZTyz1ieZ1smqYt8k56wpqOSh86QklK_VJ0PCJKFp8DMNotbT5cHoF-sVfRZOfABl5qR1E59R4WHg6Tp dhMY4YDhjYwHP2DiBAgO4zaW622WF_4pA985IZQ==&c=fI757JjW7ISoFDFg4OT-_KdWhwXa4oBFNx0kteKvRiQY4KZpOyYBMw==&ch=pje-sJZuTEESqvXf2HVvDjhHoENoCx58ioDY3RiXDcmt6PfpBxXA8A==> * CULTURAL AWARENESS <https://r20.rs6.net/tn.jsp?f=00101Vll4U-S887sTYZCqNuK1OMALBMJFsTLWJQJ__y5I2E-otATPWqouJo3j35V316ZTyz1ieZ1smqYt8k56wpqOSh86QklK_VJ0PCJKFp8DMNotbT5cHoF-sVfRZOfABl5qR1E59R4WHg6Tpdh MY4YDhjYwHP2DiBAgO4zaW622WF_4pA985IZQ==&c=fI757JjW7ISoFDFg4OT-_KdWhwXa4oBFNx0kteKvRiQY4KZpOyYBMw==&ch=pje-sJZuTEESqvXf2HVvDjhHoENoCx58ioDY3RiXDcmt6PfpBxXA8A==> * TRIBAL ENGAGEMENT 101 <https://r20.rs6.net/tn.jsp?f=00101Vll4U-S887sTYZCqNuK1OMALBMJFsTLWJQJ__y5I2E-otATPWqouJo3j35V316ZTyz1ieZ1smqYt8k56wpqOSh86QklK_VJ0PCJKFp8DMNotbT5cHoF-sVfRZOfABl5qR1E59R4WHg6T pdhMY4YDhjYwHP2DiBAgO4zaW622WF_4pA985IZQ==&c=fI757JjW7ISoFDFg4OT-_KdWhwXa4oBFNx0kteKvRiQY4KZpOyYBMw==&ch=pje-sJZuTEESqvXf2HVvDjhHoENoCx58ioDY3RiXDcmt6PfpBxXA8A==> * TRIBAL CONSULTATION <https://r20.rs6.net/tn.jsp?f=00101Vll4U-S887sTYZCqNuK1OMALBMJFsTLWJQJ__y5I2E-otATPWqouJo3j35V316ZTyz1ieZ1smqYt8k56wpqOSh86QklK_VJ0PCJKFp8DMNotbT5cHoF-sVfRZOfABl5qR1E59R4WHg6Tpd hMY4YDhjYwHP2DiBAgO4zaW622WF_4pA985IZQ==&c=fI757JjW7ISoFDFg4OT-_KdWhwXa4oBFNx0kteKvRiQY4KZpOyYBMw==&ch=pje-sJZuTEESqvXf2HVvDjhHoENoCx58ioDY3RiXDcmt6PfpBxXA8A==> * NEGOTIATING WITH TRIBES <https://r20.rs6.net/tn.jsp?f=00101Vll4U-S887sTYZCqNuK1OMALBMJFsTLWJQJ__y5I2E-otATPWqouJo3j35V316ZTyz1ieZ1smqYt8k56wpqOSh86QklK_VJ0PCJKFp8DMNotbT5cHoF-sVfRZOfABl5qR1E59R4WHg 6TpdhMY4YDhjYwHP2DiBAgO4zaW622WF_4pA985IZQ==&c=fI757JjW7ISoFDFg4OT-_KdWhwXa4oBFNx0kteKvRiQY4KZpOyYBMw==&ch=pje-sJZuTEESqvXf2HVvDjhHoENoCx58ioDY3RiXDcmt6PfpBxXA8A==> REGIONAL TRAINING WORKSHOPS combine interactive lecture with real-world scenario table-top exercises. Each runs from 9 AM - 5 PM local time in: * SACRAMENTO: March 11-15 (*COURSES* FULL). * PHOENIX: June 3-7. * SEATTLE: October 21-25. LIVE ONLINE TRAINING WORKSHOPS combine live lecture, Q&A, and reflective hands-on research, self-assessment, real-world examples and multi-tribal perspectives. Each course runs from 10 AM - 4 PM Mountain Time: * FEBRUARY 20-22/27-29 * MARCH/APRIL Mar. 26-28/Apr. 2-4 * MAY 7-9/14-16 * JULY 16-18/23-25 * SEPTEMBER 17-19/24-26 * NOVEMBER 12-14/19-21 Group, multi-course, and student rates available. Email B.B. at training@seventhsovereign.com with any questions. 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